Any help please..

I just wanted to start by saying that reading your posts is truely inspirational and I had no idea this was even here, you are all exceptionally strong women who I am hoping could potentially help me.. 

i just wanted some advice as my best friend has been diagnosed with stage 2b cervical cancer, she is at the start of her second week of treatment with daily radiotherapy and weekly chemo, she started so incredibly positively, she changed her life overnight from her diet to her attitude she is one of the strongest women I know and she was full of fight. She was talking to other women who were going through this to the point she’d phone me daily with new ideas on how she could help people and how there was no chance this would beat her.   

Three days ago she shut down completely to the point she won’t even let her (now grown up) children in her house. She wont answer her phone or door and when I finally managed to get her to speak to me on the phone today she told me she had missed a day of treatment and she couldn’t do it anymore. I spoke to her for hours and as much as I can I understand her point of view but I feel like I’m almost giving up on her if I let her do this and I fear she will regret her discussion. 

I guess what I’m really wondering is if anyone         has any advice or anything at all really to help me in anyway. I am at my wits end with worry and fear and whilst I totally appreciate it’s her descision im not sure she is thinking completely clearly. 

I really would appreciate any thoughts if it’s not too much trouble! 

Thank you so much 

Sarah xxx 

Hi Sarah

What a lovely friend you are, I dont have much advice (am in treatment myself at the moment) and am sure you will soon get some great advice on here, whilst I totally understsnd the darkness your friend is feeling, I'm sure at some point since diagnosis we have all had days when we feel so low, I share your concerns about missing treatment as it's so important to complete every session to work towards that cure, could you maybe speak to her family member who would be considered or named next of kin at the hospital and get them to make contact With the hospital? I had support from the mental health team at my hospital and feel they may be of help to at least initally providing some support with attending appointments or short term medication or even if she is up to it getting support on here or they could make contact with her specialist nurse- the ladies have helped me so very much. As I say I'm sure you will get some good advice soon but just wanted to give you and of course your friend my very best wishes x

If you can, can you find out what is bothering her most--radiation or chemotherapy.  Some women take both really well, some are okay with one but not the other, and for some, both are difficult.  If it is the chemo, perhaps they can give her some meds like Xanax to help her get by (and sleep)?  The radiation didn't bother me until the last few weeks.  And I can't sugar coat it--it was brutal.  One day, I ended up skipping, which is unlike me.  But I just couldn't do it that day.  I think the doctors and nurses understand that.  You are a good friend, but in the end, she has to do this herself.  Perhaps you could turn her on to this forum.  It was the ONLY thing that got me through.  Whatever problems she is having, I guarantee someone on this forum has experienced.

I am very new to this, but I was much like your friend very ready to get this going and feeling better. However the chemo has been very hard for me I get very stressed and emotional the day prior and day of because I know I will not feel well after. What helps me is someone always goes with me on those days so that I don't skip the treatment. I think if you can find out and try to understand exactly what it is that is triggering her to want to not want to go you would hopefully be able to help her more or get in touch with someone who can. Please update us.

Hi Sarah :-)

I've come to this conversation rather late in the day I'm afraid and probably just stabbing in the dark. I don't know how similar/different the whole chemo/rads experience is here in comparison with Greece, but in Greece I did get to meet an awful lot of people who were very visibly very sick indeed. It's a sobering sight. 

If you let your thoughts run away with themselves it could be quite easy to imagine that those Lowry figures you see going for treatment are your destiny. 

Have you had an opportunity to speak with your friend and to find out what's bothering her? Could you perhaps go along with her and spend the whole day keeping her company on one of her long chemo days? It could so simply be that the sight of a lot of other people in a worse condition than her have made her feel that the fight is hopeless. And it isn't!

It SO Isn't!

Be lucky! :-)
Tivoli