am i over reacting??

 Hello everyone, I'm new to this just looking for some advice please

  I'm 29 and have 4 children, i was with my eldest 3's dad for 11 years and had my youngest 7mnths ago with my patner of 3yrs,

 I've very stupidly never had a smear until 2wks ago. I've always really struggled with situations where i have to be naked, i dont know how i managed to have 4 chldren!

 afew weeks ago i had a random (what i thought was) period between periods, it wasn't like a period though, just like spotting, ive never had it before but thought it my be maybe my body still going back to normal after birth or something! So i finally went for my smear and it came back i have low grade dyskaryosis and HPV!! I will recieve a letter by the end of next week to comfirm my colposcopy appointment! Im absolutely bricking it! Espescailly now ive gone and googled it and spotting is a sign of cervical cancer and ive had discharge for years and because i've left it so long not ever getting checked out :( what an idiot i am!

 Can anyone give me any advice? Is it likely to be cervial cancer? Can i pass HPV on to my current partner? Am i over reacting being this scared? Any advice a all will be greatly appreciated xx

Hello and welcome to jos.

calm down, deep breath! You have done really well going to smear and now you are in the system, you will find things move along pretty well.

firstly, do not panic about the colposcopy. It sounds a daunting experience but it will be no where as bad as you have envisioned in your mind. You will be asked to put on a gown unless you are able to well a loose fitting dress, and asked to remove your pants before sitting in a special recling chair with foot holds and be covered up with a sheet from the waist down. At this point you can close your eyes and not have to see anything else if you so wish!! With the sheet thee, you will not see your own nakedness down there anyway. You will have a nurse there to hold your hand and chat to you throughout the whole thing- my nurse did all the talking as I couldn't bring myself to say much! My husband was there holding my hand as well. The dr will sit on a chair and use a magnifying device like a microscope to look closely inside you having put the speculum thing inside you like at the smear. It is all done very quickly. He will then stain the cervix with iodine or similar on a brush which isn't painful to highlight any bad cells. If yours is a "see and do" hospital, they will then carry out a LLETZ procedure if they think is necessary which is pan free as it is done under LA, which itself didn't hurt me when given. The whole procedure is uncomfortable but not painful, I found, and done quickly. Afterwards I was able to walk out with no problems.

now, to the cancer part. It is highly unlikely to be cancer. Keep that in mind. Most people on this site post at the colposcopy stage and progress no further. It is a worrying and can be frightening time as no one likes to know they have had changes down below as the mind automatically leads you down the worse case scenario. HPV is found in most people who have sex and most people will never know it. Changes happen all the time and usually correct themselves without us even knowing. The fact your changes are low means they are just being cautious and making sure all is well. After the colposcopy they will keep a close eye on you with 6 mthly smears. most people who have changes do not get cervical cancer, that is why smears are so important, to keep an eye on early changes and sort them out before those naughty cells can progress into anything worse. 

i am sorry that you have got to go through this but pleased you have come onto Jo's as it is a fab website. Have a look through the past posts. Ask anything you are not sure of. At my place of work, 6 other ladies have had colposcopy and LLETZ, two of them twice and all has been well. It is more common than you may think.

good luck

xxx dons

Aww Thankyou so much for your advice, feel better hearing that so many peolpe have gone through this and its been fine, i naturally think the worst, also knowing there will be a sheet to cover me abit is such a relief! I dont know why im so funny about it i just hate it, it makes me feel so violated! Read the bottom bit of your comment and what you've been through and are going through yourself! I think its amazing that u are going through that and yet are so selfless in giving me advice for such a small thing in comparrison! What an amazing strong woman you are! I've been loking through  the older posts and see alot of people having the same sort of thing its very reassuring, only thing that scares me is he spotting! Not much else i can do for now anyway, just have to hold tight and wait and see! Thanku again xx I will be thinking of you and keeping my fingers and toes crossed for your recovery xxx

Thank u x

its not a small thing when u r worried and wound up. I understand how ur feeling as I was there a few months ago and I didn't know about this website then.

the spotting can be for loads of reasons, cc is only one. Don't diagnose urself from that one symptom, many people have no symptoms at all, others have lots and it still doesn't turn out to be cc. You're in the system now, the right place, it's just the waiting now, as I said. X

Keep busy. Let us know how u get on x

Hi Dons,

   Thanku, am really trying to keep busy, just find all i'm doing is stalking this site reading through all the stories, so glad i have as its given me so much imfo, i'm properly shitting myself now though, i'm convinced its goin to be worst case scenario, i cant sleep or go a second in the day without thinking about it, i look at my babies and am petrified if anything was to happen to me what wil they do!! Rational level headed me want to give me a slap, i cant change anything by worrying but its just so blloody hard isnt it! I'm surprised your not completely bonkers having to go hrough such a stressful traumatc thing like this, everything feels like its miles away, have my colposcopy booked for 28th so its not that long in one breath and years away in another! I pray its nothing coz think if im like this now i wont cope at all well with anything bad, or will i? Did u feel like this? Does iit change once u actually know? Sorry i'm properly rambling here xxx


I did not use this website until the day after I was diagnosed

on July 29th I went for routine smear and forgot about it until a week later when dr surgery rang me to say I needed to make a dr appointment ASAP as needed to speak to me- they rang at 8am so knew something was wrong!! So that morning saw dr who told me my smear showed severe changes so needed to have a colposcopy as soon as possible, explaining would most probably be needing loop to cut bad cells away at same time. I obviously had a little cry and waited for my appointment on 16th aug. I wasn't fearful of the procedure, just wNted them to do what needed and get it all sorted. The procedure wasn't bad, just uncomfortable... Glad when over. Then went on camping nd cycling holiday the next day and felt fine! I did get a bit smelly as days went on so had to go to GP who told me had infection and gave antibiotics. No pain, just whiffy!!

over the next couple of weeks, spoke to a few people I knew who had had it done so felt much better!! Then on Monday 2nd sept had a phone call when out for the day on my HUSBANDS phone (they couldn't get hold of us at home) so knew was serious, to go to appointment with consultant on Thursday. I cried and thought worst but friends calmed me down and said didn't mean anything which I then believed and felt better. Then had phone call to come on wed lunch time instead... When I left work to go I still didn't think it was bad as I joked with everyone that if I wasn't back by 1 then they all need to visit me at my house with chocolate! I didn't go back. They came.

so there u have it. Doctors were worried from my smear stage. And now I am where I am, where I'm praying it doesn't come back. A weird, f***ed up place to be really. Sore. Feeling old.

anyway, you asked! Lol!!

your situation is very different. We're all different. Keep busy. dont diagnose urself!!! Wait. Be patient! Enjoy life, that's what this is all about anyway.

xxx dons


It is natural to feel really scared but the overwhelming likelihood is that you will be fine and it will not be CC. Hang on to that thought, it will keep you strong.

If it is anything bad you will deal with it, because you just do, but please try not to go to that place unless you have to. My motto always was to worry when I had to, easier said than done I know! Stay strong, you are in the system and you should be looked after now.

To Dons, I so know where you are coming from! Next month is a year since my diagnosis so am approaching all my “anniversaries”. It’s tough but I also realise how lucky I am and try to focus on they. My cancer head is still there, every day, but it gets easier I promise. I only get really wound up in the couple of weeks before a check up now.

Sending much love ladies.

Ali xx

Thanks ali xxx

always good to hear from people who are doing well, rather than people back on here due to problems or reoccurrences... celebrate that year marker in style!!!


Thanks ali xxx

always good to hear from people who are doing well, rather than people back on here due to problems or reoccurrences... celebrate that year marker in style!!!


Thank you xx

Can honestly say physically I’m fine and really quite enjoying not having periods!

Am celebrating by flying to Lapland with my lovely family on the 4th December, the day I was diagnosed last year :slight_smile:

Determined to make the most of life now!!

Ali xx


We had been looking into that for Christmas week this year but couldn't find anywhere to stay we liked, left it too late so gonna look over Christmas for next year!!

enjoy that. Amazing!! Great way to celebrate! X I'm sure you've got lots to ask Santa for when u meet him!!!

Can’t wait!!

One check up to get through next week then will get REALLY excited!!

Oh Santa has given me everything I wanted this year already, only wish is that all stays well :slight_smile: xx