Am i being silly ?

Hi haven’t been on here for quite a while,I’m due for my 2 yr check up appt nxt week and lately I have been getting myself in a right state thinking- wot if the cancer comes back,I wake up in the night and cant think of anything else,does anyone else experience the same sort of thoughts, is it normal to still think like this or am I going mad ? I try and put on a brave face for family and friends most of the time but no on can really understand how I’m feeling apart from other ladies like yourselves who have battled cc

Been exactly where you are and felt exactly like you. People tell you how great you look and how well you are doing but you, yourself you still feel slightly vulnerable.

Cancer  is and probably will always be at the back of  our mind but it does get easier.  I remind myself it is also probably at the back of most people's mind as we all fear cancer.

the 2 year mark is critical and that is probably why you are worried. I remember going to my checkup 2 years as if it was yesterday...I was so worried but the oncologist put me at ease stranight away, had the examination and everything looked  and felt good  so off I went for a  late lunch and a glass of bubbly - lunch and bubbles with a couple of friends were part of the check up routine for me.

I am sure everything will be fine but speak to your family as they are probably as worried as you Are.

2 years free from cervical cancer is worth celebrating.

let us know how it went.

Big hugs,

 

Nx

 

Hi Naz,it's good to know you've felt exactly the same,I get so scared & frightened of IT returning and I don't feel like I can burden or worry my nearest and dearest with my worries,they have all been so brilliant,it is a case of people seeing you looking well & thinking it's all over & done with but they don't realise you still struggle.I know I'm really lucky to still be here as alot of people aren't as fortunate,i hope alls well with you now and you haven't had any problems ? Big hugs cj x

Hi Cj,

i think people, friends, think we want to hear how well we look! I put on weight during treatment, like so many of us I didn't lose my hair  so I guess people felt I was doing ok...

5 years down the line I am doing good, I may still need to rush to the loo from time to time, I get the odd twinge in my tummy, the odd backache etc...but I know that many people who have not had treatment get the same problems minus the dash to the loo though...

As much as I would dread the check ups, they used to give me the reassurance I needed to get on with my life. 

hope all is well with you? 

 

Big hugs,

 

Nx

Hi cj

I feel just the same.  I am at the 2 year mark now, am booked in for a MRI next Tuesday and seeing my consultant early December.  The 2 year mark is certainly a landmark, my consultant said the recurrence rates drop after that.

It certainly plays on my mind too though and you are so right that people see you looking well and think that it's all done and dusted with.  Most of the time I'm fine but sometimes the thoughts just creep in. 

I've told a few friends and family I've got my MRI next week (which is a big deal to me) and all I get back is 'I'm sure everything will be fine.'  I really hope it is for us all but when someone says it to you it gives the impression that they don't realise what you are really going through. 

At least we have all our Jo's friends who are the best support of all and truly understand how we feel.

Big hugs and good luck for your check up next week, let us know how you get on.

Cheryl,xx 

Oh God! I remember so very well the terror in the run up to several follow-up tests. I guess it must have been my heart-rate that made my vision blur on occasion. The two-year mark was definitely a biggy, thinking 'Well, I've got away with it so far but just how long will it be before my luck runs out?' But it was fine and I celebrated. I was also pretty chuffed at the two-and-a-half years halfway point. I've just recently had my four-year tests and though waiting for confirmation, am pretty certain that all is still well. If you are showing no symptoms that is probably a very good indication that everything is fine and dandy :-)

And don't you get just so sick of people telling you how well you look? Did you look ill prior to diagnosis? Did any of those people who now tell you how well you look comment on how poorly you looked when you had cancer but nobody knew? Nah! It's all just words.

It is a very scary moment for you, and I sympathise, but you will get past this hurdle with a skip in your step and be all the stronger for it.

Be lucky :-)
Tivoli
xxxxx

H Naz,what you've said is very reassuring,and its fabulous to hear you've reached the 5 year Mark,I too have put on weight but that's a small price to pay and I can deal with the rushing to the loo I realise how lucky I am to still be here,it is the reassurance you need to be able to carry on with your life.big hugs cj x

Hi Tivoli,sounds like you're doin really well and its amazing you've reached the four year mark,it's good to know ladies like us can always come here for advise and understanding,I'm certainly not going to be beaten and we do become stronger,big hugs cj x

Hugs back at yer!

:-)

(((((HUGS)))))

Hi,it's do good to know we can come to Jo's trust and get all the support,help,understanding and love from ladies who know exactly what we're going through,unfortunately my appt got cancelled till 27th Nov,big hugs cj x