alternatives to Dilators

Hi

I have been using my dilators for the last couple of weeks and I havent been able to move up to the second size without it hurting.  I managed the larger size once and then not again, maybe I'm not relaxed enough and the dilators the hospital gave me are so clinical it feels like a chore. Can anyone recommend alternatives such as a vibrator that isnt too big. All of the ones online I have looked at are too big. Has anyone found one that isnt too big? Any help would be greatly appriated as I just want to get my life back to normal. Thanks

Hi,

The delightful dilators ;)

I have been using dilators since I finished treatment in August 2013, many ups and downs along the way.  At first I felt like you it was a very clinical process and I desperately wanted to move on to my pre cancer normal life!  I brought a small vibrator from Amazon called "Cream Massager by Lady Finger" it’s about the size of number 2 dilator, it was great for the first couple of months. 

I have a lovely CNS who calls me from time to time to check how I am doing and she recommended I go up a size in dilators and to start thinking about resuming intercourse with my husband eeek.  I tried the dilator first which was fine, I am have a wonderfully patient husband so armed with a bottle of wine and some KY Jelly we had sex for the first time in soooo long.  It was actually fine without any bleeding or pain, we were incredibly gentle, I was so relieved.  We carried on having sex 2-3 times a week and using the dilator 2 times a week until my first check-up appointment in early February 2014.  My oncologist said if you are having regular intercourse you can stop using the dilators, which I did and then problems began. 

Within a week I started bleeding after sex which worried me, I spoke to my CNS about it and she said it is probably just scar tissue being broken down but to keep an eye on it and if it gets worse to contact her.  Last week I had a big bleed very scary, I left a message on my CNS voice mail and she returned my call in the morning and arranged an appointment with my oncologist on Friday, she tried to reassure me but I was convinced it was a reoccurrence.  It turns out it was just scar tissue and I now have vaginal stenosis.  So for me I think I will stick with using the dilators a couple of times a week along with intercourse (once I build up the courage again) with lots of KY Jelly.  The other good advice I have had is to use Replens every other day to replace the vaginas natural moisture, these can be prescribed by your GP.

Best of luck I hope you find something that works well for you xxxx