Advice To Support My Girl

Hello everyone my names James I'm 23 and am in a relationship with a beautifully sensitive woman.

Nearly 1 month ago we went and had her colposcopy where they look a sample of her cervix for testing after her smear test showed abnormal cells ( I know you all know this its just all new to me so I'm just trying to understand it all as I type ). Since the sample was taken we have carried on as normal as possible waiting for the results in the door although I know she has been very worried about what the results may be as I completely understand Must be a scary thing for her.

So 3 weeks later there it is the letter we've been waiting for and to make things that bit more stressful she's half way across the world on a cruise ship so everything has been difficult. I eventually got her mum to send a picture of the letter to her and the results were that she has to go back for treatment but the treatment wasn't specificed in the letter and also they'd booked it for this month however she's not due to get back until beginning of April so again another stressful factor. She asked me to call the hospital for her to try and find out all the info and rearrange the appointment and this took a good couple of hours spread through the day back and forth so again stressful. In the end I spoke to a lovely woman called Carole and she told me that the treatment she's going to have is LLETZ and that her CIN is 1/2. I got her to cancel the appointment and now it's an open slot for when she gets back, i got her to find out from the doctor if she was ok to wait another 3 months and although it's not common practice he said it wouldn't be a problem Considering the circumstance.


So why am I here? However strong and independent my girl is I know she gets very worried and stressed but above all scared about the whole thing. Worrying about her future, our future. I want to be the most supportive person for her right now yet the stress is putting pressure on our relationship as a whole and this is sad as I don't like what is happening, to her or to us. 


Anybody who who has been through similar steps or circumstances id love to hear some on advice on a few of these topics:

future pregnancy, any pain experienced during/afterwards, affecting our sex life(that's not because I'm a man and that's all I think about, its important) and success rates. These are topics we as a couple are concerned about. 


Any help/ general support would be overly appreciate! Seriously it means a huge deal to me to try and know as much as I can about it all so I can be there for her.


Thanks and thanks in advance for all the replies,



Hi James,

First of all, it's so lovely that you have come on here to seek some advice. It shows what a caring boyfriend your girlfriend has.

I had Lletz under general anaesthetic so I can't give any advice on pain during the proceedure but i'll try help with the rest of the topics.

Pregnancy - There is no evidence to show Lletz affects fertility in any way. From what I have read on here, they monitor you a little more closely whilst pregnant but she shouldnt encounter any issues.

Pain After - I won't lie, I was in pain for around 2 weeks but I had a very large area removed and also got an infection. It will probably be painful for a couple of days and maybe uncomfortable for longer. She needs to look out for any heavy bleeding or an odd smell as this could be signs of an infection. The bleeding could last up to 6 weeks.

Sex Life - They recommend you don't have sex for 4-6 weeks after. I waited 3 months because I was terrified and it turned out part of my wound was completely raw so it hurt like hell but once I was cauterised things have been absolutely fine and we have the same sex life we always did. Having a raw wound is quite uncommon so don't worry too much about this.

Success Rates - I think the official success rate is about 90% which is very good odds. The good thing is that she will have a check up after 6 months so if anything wasn't removed, they will do it again. Cervical Abnormalities and Cancer are quite slow growing from what i've heard so it's highly unlikely that even if any cells were missed, that they would progress any further.

Good luck to both of you. The best thing you can do is be patient and listen to her. My boyfriend was mainly great but the one thing I did get fed up of was hearing "you'll be fine". I knew I would be but it felt like a brush off whenever I tried to speak about it.

If you need anymore advice feel free to message me and I hope someone else can shed some light on the pain during proceedure :)

Hello James :-)

What a lovely chap you are! It's very good news that the doctor says it's OK to delay for three months, though I can't help feeling that psychologically she might be better off getting it dealt with sooner rather than later. I am NOT for a single moment refuting what the doctor says and neither am I suggesting that it could turn into anything nastier during that time frame. I make this remark purely because I have read so much on this site about the stress and anxiety caused by not knowing. You know your girl better than any of us do here, but if she gets stressed and worried about what the future holds then 3 months is a long time to brush that aside and bottle it up. I imagine that she works on this cruise ship and is not on a super-long holiday? (Lucky girl either way) But is a spot of sick-leave really out of the question? Just asking.

Be lucky (and continue being lovely)



Wow. Couldnt of asked for a better response!!! I know she is worried over it and our distance doesnt help matters. In the end i know all will be well as she has a strong head on her shoulders to deal with it. 


Fiona - thanks for all your accounts on the different questions, especially as youve gone through the majority of things yourself so really good to get your opinion! Ive been trying to cut down on the youll be fine type sayings as i think your right. Although she is worried as am i so i think until it is all over and she really is fine ive just got to help her get through it. Again thanks for your reply! 


Tivoli - i completely understand what your saying in regards tomthe it playing on her mind and i think overall it is doing just that however she has a very busy life on board so it makes it a tad easier for her i think, still not the best but in the circumstances i think her mind is active elsewhere. Still yet tomfind the right moment to have a conversation about it all in depth since you guys have replied as were both very busy.


Will update with updates lol obviously and any other questions or worries that may arise.


Thanks again!! 


PS if there is anyone else who has an account please share all advice will help!