Abnormal smear/HPV

I am awaiting colposcopy due to an abnormal smear and HPV being detected.  I am in an anxious position.  I had one lover from age 16 to 18. I met my husband then and we have been together ever since.  I'm now 51 and never had an abnormal smear before.  For the last 12 years our marriage has not been good.  I have no reason to think my husband has been unfaithful as he has a number of mental health issues.  He's become reclusive.  I recently had an affair after years of no affection.  It's been only 6 months since the start.  I don't know if the HPV is a result of that and the abnormal smear.  I feel like I am being punished in the worst way possible.  

Hi. No one can tell you where you got the HPV from. It can lay dormant for years.

I can inderstand why you feel like you are being punished for your affair but you are not.

You like most of us here are one of the women who HPv causes problems for. It’s a massively common virus
My own sexual history has been rather colourful and I felt had times when I felt like I was being punished but we aren’t. It really is ‘just one of those things’
What does sound Really hard
for you is having a sick husband and all that comes with it. It must be very tough.
Affairs are usually a sign that something has to change.
Good luck with your colposcopy and hope it gets sorted quickly.

Thanks.  I hate the fact I cheated.  It's not behavior I condone but the man I meet is in similar circumstances.  We just comfort each other and go back to our lives.  As I said I had one lover before my husband.  My husband was a virgin when we met.  Could my infection happen at age 16 and only cause an abnormal smear and be detected now? If not can an infection cause cell changes in 6 months?  That's when the affair started. I'm so worried my husband will find out about the affair.  It won't be good for his  mental health and it will be the end for us  I'm trying to keep things together for everyone's sake but I can't do without the comfort of this other man.  He gives me a reason to go on.  


I was of similar thinking - have been single for a year but was with my partner for 4 years previous.Always had clear smears up until 2014 then had high risk hpv and severe cell changes.I naturally assumed it was from him, as he used to talk about other women. But my registrar assured me that this could have happened many years ago - there's no way of ever knowing. I've been told its pointless to point blame as it does no good. She basically said - this is what's happened, this is what you have and there's nothing you can do . I had my treatment to remove abnormal cells and after a recent check and colposcopy have been discharged to  3 yearly smears.Only now am I trying not to worry . I hope you get sorted and I wish you all the best. Xx

Thanks. I see this as a no fault thing as if no symptoms then everyone is innocent.  My problem is my husband might twig it came from an affair as he and I haven't had sex for years.  I never put a foot wrong in my marriage and the minute I do this happens.  It does feel like punishment