Just got abnormal smear letter yesterday and totally freaking out.
I've been with partner for 13 years and having been googling see that hpv shd clear itself but if I've had it that long, surely it's here to stay? last smear was 6 yrs ago and don't know if they tested for hpv but result was normal. I hate hospitals, doctors, all of it terrifies me. Had a bad experience when I had my son and then did hypnobirthing when I had my daughter 5 yrs ago and she was born at home. If I have low grade cin1 I tried to console myself that they will just watch and wait but they've booked me in for a colposcopy and reading other peoples stories it seems low grade can really be high grade when they start to look. This really is my worst nightmare. I'm so scared I nearly cried at work yesterday and have been awake researching half the night. Right now I'm just crying and googling while the kids are downstairs. Can't think about anything other than cancer. Feel like this is how life is going to be now. I'd like to be more upbeat but how?