Abnormal smear and hpv

Just got abnormal smear letter yesterday and totally freaking out.

I've been with partner for 13 years and having been googling see that hpv shd clear itself but if I've had it that long, surely it's here to stay? last smear was 6 yrs ago and don't know if they tested for hpv but result was normal. I hate hospitals, doctors, all of it terrifies me. Had a bad experience when I had my son and then did hypnobirthing when I had my daughter 5 yrs ago and she was born at home. If I have low grade cin1 I tried to console myself that they will just watch and wait but they've booked me in for a colposcopy and reading other peoples stories it seems low grade can really be high grade when they start to look. This really is my worst nightmare. I'm so scared I nearly cried at work yesterday and have been awake researching half the night. Right now I'm just crying and googling while the kids are downstairs. Can't think about anything other than cancer. Feel like this is how life is going to be now. I'd like to be more upbeat but how?

Hi, 

Don't worry about it. I was the same as you honest to god.

I found out HPV can lay dormant for years before they start so show signs.

I know everyone is saying it will be ok to you. Everyone was saying that to me too, however me being me got all upset over everything. Haha.

The colposcopy is ok. I didn't find it too bad anyway. After it I wondered why I was worrying so much Haha. 

I rang my Dr to fine out more about the results and what they meant. That helped me too. 

You will be fine :) - Good luck x

 

Thanks for your reply. I will think about calling the doctors. from what you know about hpv, if it's been present long enough to cause abnormalities, is it still likely to clear itself? sorry to put on you, I'm just trying to find a way of convincing myself it might be ok! 

It's ok, we've all felt what you have :)

I'm the only person I know who's had this trouble. This is what this is for so we can all share and ask for help and advice. :) 

Please don't be worried about the procedures too. It's not as bad as what I thought it would be. Just sit back breath and be calm. I wouldn't recommend YouTube - ing the procedure, I did that and it made me worse on the day haha. 

I did get to see a picture of my cervix for first time for the pinch Biopsy. Then for the loop I asked to see that too:) but I'm weird and want to see what they are taking out of me haha.

Good luck, all the best and keep calm. :) x