Abnormal smear after LLETZ

Hi all Im new here but would really appreciate some advice of others perhaps in the same boat as me.

I got my first abnormal smear back in 2009 with borderline changes. I was referred to colposcopy but fell pregnant in the meantime and was told to wait until after the birth to have it done. I then had another smear in 2011 which was again abnormal so was again referred to Colp. This time i was tested and had CIN 1. We decided toleave things for the moment but I would have to have another colp 6 months later. I stupidly forgot  to attend the appointment which was booked and so missed it. I did not have another colposcopy until July 2012 and again the result was still CIN1 . I was again told to come back for a repeat colp in 6 months with a HPV test. I had this done in April 2013. I again had the Colposcopy test and was suprised to find that I only had borderline changes and no CIN at all. On the downside however I did test positive for high risk HPV. Because of this I was told to come back for a repeat colp in November 2013. I had this done and to my horror the results come back as CIN2!!! I was then admitted for LLETZ 2 weeks later. After I had this procedure I was told I was all clear and a smear they did at the same time was all clear.

I was told to come back in 6 months for a smear but again I did stupidly did not attend. However, in October this year I had my smear and colposcopy done at the same time at the hospital (I asked my GP to be referred there because I was more comfortable) and I have just had the results back. Abnormal with borderline changes and high risk HPV. I am obviously devestated. The doc has advised me to go back in 6 months for repeat colposcopy which I will do but there are so many things I am worried about. Mainly, how can the cells develop from borderline to CIN2 in a matter of 6 months as was the case last year when I had a boderline result in April and by November it was CIN2!!!  And now in the space of a year from having the LLETZ done the cells have already started to become abnormal.

Looking at my history, I have been under surveillance since 2009. I feel that this is never going to go away and I am certain that I will need to have treatment again in the future. I am 31 and have one little boy. I have been thinking about having another baby but now Im wondering if it would be better to do it sooner rather than later? If this is going to be an ongoing thing then I would rather complete my family before having more treatment. Just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation? The doctors never answer my questions directly and I know they are trained to make things seem less worse than what they actually are. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Hello Poppy,

I'm really sorry for what you're going through, and I totally understand the worries you have. My situation is kind of similar, in that I had my first abnormal smear in 2009 and have been monitored ever since. I've not yet had a clear smear, and I've experienced cell changes from clear margains after treatment to being abnormal again 6 months later twice. You see can my history at the bottom of my post. 

I do understand how scary it is to have these changes after treamtent and to feel like this is a neverending nightmare. I've been fortunate as the docor has answered my questions for me, but I think there's only so much that they can say as they can't predict the future. It's hard though.

You mentioned having thought of having another child, might be worth chatting to your GP to see what they'd advise? 

If you'd like to PM me please feel free. I had to reply and let you know you're not alone in this, although I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you.

Take care x