Abnormal smear after LLETZ in Jan

I saw this website advised in the waiting room at my hospital in Jan 13 as I was waiting for a LLTEZ Procedure. 

After 5 years of having abnormal smears, all resulting in visiting the colposcopy clinc, the last visit I was advised that I need a LLTEZ which came back as CIN2. Having been lead to believe that this would solve the problem, I was expecting my check up smear to come back clear. I recieved a letter this morning advising me it had showed abnormal cells and HPV infection......all came as a shock and I had a good cry as I thought I was getting better.

Having again read up on it all on the Internet, it has done nothing but worry me, making me feel ashamed and dirty for the infection.....the leaflet sent with the letter did not help either. But reading the posts on here has made me feel not so alone.  My partner is away working in Afghan so this is the last thing I want to tell him about, he has been like a cat on hot coals waiting to here back.

i am not looking for just reassurance but to make friends with people going through the same as me.

 

Caz

Hi there,

I'm sorry for what you're going through. If it helps, you're not alone, and I totally understand the feelings involved when you get that horrible letter after LLETZ saying there are abnormal. I know because I'm in the same situation. Everthing I read/was told led me to believe that all would be fine after LLETZ. I was pole-axed when I had my check 6 months after that and received a letter saying there were once again abnormalities showing. It didn't help me reading that most women are ok after LLETZ because that's not been my experience. I can relate to your feelings about HPV - I can't face the thought of having a relationship and risking picking up more HPV, I feel like 'damaged goods'. I've never been promiscious, I don't smoke, I eat healthily and exercise regularly, but for  some reason my immune system can't clear the HPV.

I just wanted to share some experience so you know you're not alone. I'm here for you if you want talk anymore, or you can PM me if you prefer.

Im sorry your partner is away at the moment, and understand why you're not telling him with him so far away. Must be so hard.

Take one day at a time, take good care of yourself, and talk if you need to xx