A year on from the grey zone

Its been quite a while since I’ve been here, once my treatment was over and I was clear I just wanted to put it behind me, and pretend it didn’t happen. But now it’s a year since I was in the grey zone, that weird place between diagnosis and treatment, and I guess it’s on my mind, and the only place I can really talk about it is here.

I’ve felt fine physically once I got over the surgery, but that doesn’t really mean anything since I felt fine physically before, during and after diagnosis. I’m in Australia, so I think some of the follow up is different to the UK, I have a vault smear at every 3 month check up. My 6 month check up in January showed VAIN 3, which sent me back into the grey zone. I thought it was all over, how could this be happening again? In March I had an excision of the area, which pathology said was an adenoma, my specialist was happy that it was not a problem and I’m back on 3 month check ups. Interestingly I was having a little bit of bleeding after sex from about October of last year onward, but have not had any since the most recent surgery, so I will take that as a positive.

I guess all I wanted to say is that a year ago, I didn’t think I would be here right now. I was diagnosed, but not staged, and all the worst case scenarios were running in my head. But I’m still here, and spending the night revisiting the forum I’m inspired by the strong women who are here.

Hi Stormchaser! 

Wow well done you!! it's so lovely to read positive messages on how people are doing after treatment, and all these anniversaries are tough. I've found myself in a similiar situation as i'm just ging through a lot of my 1 year ago stuff.  It sucks but equally it's also reassuring to know we are all feeling similar. 

Keep going lovely, sending hugs xxxx