I haven't posted for a while as I've been trying to move on a bit and not keep my head in the CC space every day. I'm coming up to my 9 month check up in a couple of weeks and of course without really paying much attention to it...Ive realised my body is displaying a lot of stress signs, I'm not sleeping, my teeth, angry, tearful etc and relating every ache and pain to being reoccurance!
I'm annoyed as my 6 month check up was cancelled due to her being ill. They couldn't reschedule due to me being on holiday/away with work, then it would have been 30 Dec by the time they saw me!! So I've had to settle for seeing a dr/consultant on the 9th Dec but I've no idea who this will be. Great follow up. Is it too much to ask to see the same person 4 times a year?
Anyways...at my 3 month and last check up all was fine but I was too scared to let them examine me. I shot off the bed and was shaking and totally clamped up down there. I really, really didn't expect this reaction so of course I'm now thinking it will happen again. And that becuase no one's checked me properly since my op I'm going to have all sorts wrong with me!
Oh my days, I'm not making it easy for myself am I?!
Does anyone have any pointers on relaxing during the exam? I have some strong codeine I will take before that makes me a bit woozy and happy!
So, so sorry to hear you feel like that and I'm sure you are not alone. I was well screwed up just before my op and used a technique that my cousin used whilst she was having internal treatment. Got myself a portable CD player and a relaxation/meditation CD. If you listen to that whilst on the couch it may well help take your mind off it - it worked for my cousin and certainly helped me.
The consultant referred me to some physchosexual centre but the waiting list was 24 months!
I’m hoping it will be ok, I have used dilators etc since and not had a problem. It’s just the situation of being examined and now I don’t know who it will be! Argh!
You're not being silly, any bad experience tends to influence the way we feel about the next similar situation. You need to find something to relax you at the time of examination. Have you thought about asking your GP for something to help? I had some diazepam when I had my MRI as I was terrified and it got me through it OK.
I'm sorry you are feeling like that. It's such an anxious time as it brings everything back and it's really not that long ago since diagnosis or your actual op. The way I coped was to think well I've got rid of the cancer now and that was the hard part. I just kept in my mind that the check was just to make sure I stay healthy. The examination really only took a few minutes. Probably less than that. I think you should explain to the doctor how you are feeling too so that hopefully they can put your mind at rest. The other thing I did was take the whole day off work and went shopping and for lunch with my sister afterwards. I've decided after every check up I'm going to buy something pretty! ;-)
You have done so well and you have done the hard bit! You can do this. Good luck.
I totally agree with Tess's comments. You have done so well so talk to the dr before hand, see what can be done eg medication like Cheryl says, and go for it. You've done so much all ready, you CAN do this xxx much much love to you xxx dons
Tess you have a good outlook for sure. I have lost my way with it recently, having panic attacks and extreme anger/stress. I think my body is finally feeling better...it's taken 9 months to feel like part of me again which I should be so happy about. I think my sanity has now gone 'right iI've worked so hard getting you through this year, I'm off!'....got an apt with a counsellor on Monday so looking forwards to getting some help in coping with it all.
I think the fact that you had an abdominal op rather than keyhole has really made a difference to your physical recovery which in turn, for sure is going to affect your mental recovery. So, don’t be too hard on yourself. They say the greatest healer is time and that's something we do not give ourselves enough of. I don't think anyone who has had to go through CC can come through totally unscathed. It’s no walk in the park and it can affect so many areas of our lives.We just have to find a way to manage it somehow. Sometimes people that are close to us see that physically we are well and forget that we are still dealing with the emotional side of it all. It’s not their fault, it just naturally happens I guess.So I think it's brilliant that you are going to see a counsellor on Monday.I hope that the counselling goes really well and starts to help.Soon we will be able to put 2013 behind us and start again! You have been a great support to me and others on this site. Take care Jo and remember we are all here anytime you need to say how you are feeling xxx
i've been on and off here as i think a few of us do as things start to move along with life.
anyway in response to how to get through the internal exam, i found mine really not to bad as i went into the examining room the nurse practioner said these guys are really very quick at it and you know what she was right, she talked to me and he examined me i would say done in 30 seconds and it didn't hurt at all. i'm not sure if that helps but it really wsn't too bad.
Bloody hell jo.hope you are ok.I've not been on for a while. My appointment also got cancelled. I came from chesterfield. It takes me a bloody hour on bus. When I got there,apparently I wasn't on the list,then they said they had wrote to me.not.I was bloody fuming. I'm back on Thursday which I am bloody fuming about. Another day. But I really need to go as I've had shoulder pain since October.hopefully just being patronising.just read on net it could be connected.I've been to my gp and they seem to think it's trapped nerve.can't believe you had letter for a smear.there's some idiots in this world.glad to hear check up went ok.I'm used to them now.I see a different consultant every time I go but as long as they keep saying everything is ok lol. Chin up xx
I just collapsed crying on the floor. How can they be so insensitive??
