I truly hope everyone is doing good.
Today I was sitting in bed thinking how fast this last week went by reminding myself what this up and coming week has scheduled for me. In 5 days time I will know the results of the CT/PET scan and although I feel I've been doing so good, emotionally, it kind of terrified me again. My mom is going with me and I'm scared of the specialist saying something that might break her heart, but I need her there with me and I'm feeling very selfish for it.
I feel I've had to wait too long for results and in the meantime it has spread. ive had this shoulder pain for a couple of days now and am scared its associated with my diagnosis. then I think it might have something to do with me sleeping on it, followed by 45 minutes of stretching it over my head while the scans were being done, followed by still sleeping on it some more and finally to that extremely heavy purse I insist on carrying around using the shoulder strap. But even after this I still can't shake the thought of the 2 being associated.
I've also been having the biggest debate within myself, trachelectomy or histerectomy and I hate to put so much thought into it because at the end of the day I still don't know if these choices still apply to me.
I hate bringing anyone down so I'll just leave it at that for now. Somehow sharing what I am feeling makes me feel better, makes me feel as if I am not alone in this, specially because many of you actually understand what I am going through.
Hope you all have a great weekend.