5 more days

Hi all, 

I truly hope everyone is doing good. 

Today I was sitting in bed thinking how fast this last week went by reminding myself what this up and coming week has scheduled for me. In 5 days time I will know the results of the CT/PET scan and although I feel I've been doing so good, emotionally, it kind of terrified me again. My mom is going with me and I'm scared of the specialist saying something that might break her heart, but I need her there with me and I'm feeling very selfish for it. 

I feel I've had to wait too long for results and in the meantime it has spread. ive had this shoulder pain for a couple of days now and am scared its associated with my diagnosis. then I think it might have something to do with me sleeping on it, followed by 45 minutes of stretching it over my head while the scans were being done, followed by still sleeping on it some more and finally to that extremely heavy purse I insist on carrying around using the shoulder strap. But even after this I still can't shake the thought of the 2 being associated. 

I've also been having the biggest debate within myself, trachelectomy or histerectomy and I hate to put so much thought into it because at the end of the day I still don't know if these choices still apply to me. 

I hate bringing anyone down so I'll just leave it at that for now. Somehow sharing what I am feeling makes me feel better, makes me feel as if I am not alone in this, specially because many of you actually understand what I am going through. 

Hope you all have a great weekend. 

Hi there 

it's such a tough time waiting for results, I remember exactly how you feel. I was imagining every ache and pain meant that it had spread. This is perfectly natural and practically every woman here has ben through the same. To be honest many of my aches and pains 'magically' disapeared once I knew my staging. The mind is a powerful thing.

I also very much doubt that shoulder pain is linked, far more likely to be your heavy handbag or sleeping position. 

I know its easier said than done but try not to obsess over it too much. Keep yourself busy and plan in some nice things to keep your mind occupied. as I felt so out of control with everything going on, it also helped me to wrestle some control back and feel like I was doing something proactive for my health.  I did yoga and started learning meditation (YouTube vids). For me it really helped.   

be kind to yourself. 

hugs and prayers. 


I just wanted to let you know you're in my thoughts :). Not long now, stay strong. You're allowed to lean on your family in times like this, it's what they're there for and if the shoe was on the other foot you'd be there for them to lean on you. I hope the results are as good as they can be, let us know. Massive hugs. Xxx 

Hi! I know exactly how you feel and how the thinking about worst case scenarios drives you crazy.

I read your story and allthough mine is not so dramatic it is similar, it has also taken a long time since diagnosis and I'm only due to have an appointment with oncologist in more than 2 weeks from now so I am also panicking that it has been a long time.. I'm trying to tell myself that they wouldn't let you wait so long if it was dangerous, but I still worry. It's like a dark cloud hanging over me all the time, I was quite positive before but then something radiologist said during my last MRI completely shattered my positivity and now I'm really struggling. Everyone says this is a natural reaction, and our mind is playing tricks on us, so let's hope it's that and it will pass!!

Please be strong and I wish you will hear the results you want, keep us updated!

Everything Nellie said above :-)


Be lucky :-)


Firstly big hugs waiting is the worst part  

I can definitely relate to worrying about other pains. If you think about head lice you start itching don't you it's the same with other parts of body the brain is a powerful tool and your brain is probably more focused on your shoulder and aches you normally wouldn't think about you are now zoned in. Try to distract your mind and keep busy. Hope you get good results and keep in touch. This site is amazing. Xxx

Thank you ladies for all your kind words :)