3 Month post treatment scan results

So today I got my 3 month post treatment scan results. In a nutshell, they said they are pleased with my progress and that they are reassured by my scan results. The tumour is gone (Yey) but there’s a spot left that the radiologist has said they are not sure of. They said that when they looked at the original scans my tumour had a weird middle which could have been a cyst or some changes and what’s left now looks similar. It could be scar tissue or inflammation. The positive thing is that they said that the PET scan showed no activity throughout my body and there’s nothing showing up. So they are going to scan me in 3 months time and if the spot it still there they will do a biopsy and should that be anything untoward then I’m looking at surgery.

Am I being totally selfish for being absolutely disappointed in not being told there’s NED at this stage?? I feel terrible that I feel this way knowing that others have had worse news. My family and friends are over the moon but I feel really deflated - is this normal?? I think only now I can look back and realise that mentality I’ve not dealt with things well & have a long road ahead in terms of dealing with what has happened over the last few
Months. I know I should be happy but I feel like I’ve been thrown back. I’ve just started to get things back on track and kind of feel like I’m facing things again. Has anyone else felt the same way?? I feel like I’m being selfish & ungrateful x

2 Likes

Hi Willow23

I don’t think you’re being selfish or ungrateful. Our feelings are our feelings and to compound them with guilt doesn’t help. There’s a good reason why the experience of cancer diagnosis/treatment is often described as a roller coaster; up one minute and down the next - it’s tough so give yourself credit.

Friends and family are very important of course, but no one really understands unless they’ve experienced a cancer diagnosis. I’m 7 years post treatment (RH/chemo/radio) and NED; I’ve never liked it if others got jubilant on my behalf - it feels like pressure to me. I think it can be difficult for other people to know how to interact with cancer sufferers, maybe because they are challenged by their own fears about cancer. I found I preferred to be guarded about what I told other people because I realised I needed to be in control for the sake of my mental health.

I also think there can be a tendency for us to put too much pressure on ourselves, especially in the early days post treatment. Pre cancer I’d always bounced back quickly from illnesses and medical procedures and to need, for example, a week off work was a big deal in that previous life. So in my mind recovering from cancer treatment would take just a bit longer - maybe a month or two tops? Er no, it took me a lot longer than I would ever have imagined to get to some place of emotional and mental resilience - let alone dealing with various physical side effects of treatment.

Perhaps in a nutshell, amd something that is often said on this forum: be kind to yourself.

x

2 Likes

@Jazza thank you so much for your reply, your words have really hit the spot! I feel like I am only now realising that the feeling of dealing with it is not going to go away and I’ll need to work through what that means and adapt. As silly as it sounds, I grieve the person I was before, but at the same time now realise that I actually physically didn’t feel well before and now I do. It’s such a weird feeling! My dad had cancer 11 years ago and I feel he’s really the only one that understands. My friends have been amazing but last week, while I had a wobble, I had to say to them all “allow me to be angry and upset” they couldn’t understand why I was so upset and feeling how I was, they just heard that the scans were reassuring and thought it’s all done with and get on with life! They keep saying you’re young and healthy, and all I can think is I was young and healthy before and look what happened!

I promise I’ll be kind, I’m realising I need to take care of the mental health side of things as well as the physical side. Thank you so much for your kind words, it really does mean a lot xxx

@Willow23 I understand everything you are saying. I had a clear pet scan and exam at my 3 month appt. I feel everyone thinks I’m cured and I should no longer worry, however we know the worry never goes away. Do what you need to do to help yourself, and know you have support from other survivors and those going through their cancer journey. I will pray that the “spot” goes away at 3 months!

2 Likes

@Willow23

Your feels are completely valid, lovely. I didn’t get NED until 6 months and required a PET-Scan to confirm.

In short I had an area of concern which the radiologist couldn’t or wouldn’t say wasn’t cancer so my oncologist sent me off for a PET scan which came back cold. So I was signed off as NED.

Honestly I was just like ‘okay then’ and off I went. Not a day goes by still that I don’t think about cancer. I think the intensity of treatment and recovery just isn’t there when you get the results. Finishing treatment and get NED was utterly anticlimactic

Feeling the same as just had my first 3 month follow up (7 months post treatment) into a two year review plan

Radiologist hasn’t done the report when I went to my oncologist appointment. So sat there whilst being told this ‘area of concern’ hasn’t grown any bigger since my last MRI coupled with the PET scan being cold my OnCon wasn’t worried but I’ve got to now wait for a adhoc phone call to say I am still okay when the report does arrive

Sharing as what you are experiencing is normal as I am definitely feeling it also.

Also have my next exam in august (internal view via gyno) and then full body CT scan in October

It’s going to be like this for two years. Really hope the further we get out of treatment the easier this will become

Much love
Peachy