Hello, thank you so much for helping me through such a dark time. Thank you. I've been in a really dark dark place since I messaged you. I couldn't eat, sleep or function. I thought it was spread throughout my body. I was out of my wind with worry.
Today I had my results. I feel more positive... I feel as if a weight has been lifted from me. I have eaten properly for the first time in weeks. I still have cancer. But I was imagining stage 4. I was imagining a tumour the size of a grapefruit.
Telephoned by oncology nurse.
MRI - stage 2a with 1 lymph node involvement.
PET/CT - agrees but shows leftside lymph node multiple ones.
Tumour is 2.4mm/9mm.
Need to wait for next Thursday to find out about treatment options in the MDT meeting.
But I feel relieved. I feel I have a very strong fighting chance. It's early days. It's still a diagnosis of cancer. But it's under 1cm. It's still contained. I know other women might be feeling like their life is over... But I feel...
I know I can whip the arse of this poorly differentiated squamous cell tumours arse for myself, my children and my mum. This " little bastard" will wish it had never decided to turn malignant in my body.
Harvitt that's exactly the fighting spirt that will see you through this. Well that and the amazing ladies here at Jo's. Take it one day at a time. Rest when you need to. I took 5 months off altogether. I did not feel well enough for work but I was also recovering from surgery and ovary removal. My chemo days were 9-6pm (checks, waiting for the chemo to come from pharmacy, 2 hour fluid trip, chemo drip, fluid drip again). Chemo day can be long but also restful to be honest. I had delays on nearly all of my radiotherapy days due to problems with machines or computer updates etc. Also, I work at a school so really didn't want to risk catching something when my immune system was compromised. You need to do what is best for you at the end of the day.
I also work as a teacher in a special needs school. If I have surgery I couldn't go in as its quite hands on and physical. As for hand washing... I try to get the children to do it... But it's near on impossible to police all the time and they don't understand about sneezing in yiur face.
Aw so happy to read your post and hear that fighting spirit emerge! You can do this! I too had 5 months off work (I work in a GP practice, so same issue with bugs!) I had 11 weeks of chemo and my 5 weeks of radiotherapy started at week 6 of my chemo. I live about an hour's drive from the hospital so that made it all a bit more tiring. Like Maria, my chemo took up pretty much the full day but only one day a week. Radiotherapy was mon-fri but only a short period and I was able to arrange my appts for that during school hours which meant minimum disruption for school run etc!
Keep that fighting spirit, there's so many amazing women on here who have beaten this. We can too x
Do I understand correct that the MRI showed 1 node but the pet showed multiple nodes involved? From what I understand once there are lymph nodes involved, chemorads is the recommended treatment.
It's a difficult one Harvitt but your health is more important than anything. Also, I assume you would be on full pay as I was throughout my illness. It took so much pressure off knowing that financially things were not going to change.
Great... But I can and will do it.
Yes you can! Won't be fun but you'll get there. I was so scared of my treatment, but I could have worked throughout my treatment if I wanted too. No sickness.no pain, no bowel issues, no bladder issues, nothing. Just a bit tired which was caused by.stress more then by the treatment. I was really lucky to sail through without any issues, and there are more ladies that were fine. You've got this, and we've got your back
I'm unsure. I had this info over the phone. Mri says 1 lymph node but pet says multiple. A week apart so could it mean in a week its progressed?
I need to see it for myself and talk to my consultant. I personally don't think the oncology nurse knew what she was saying.
What I can make out from what she said and the stages description it doesn't match up.
I was so relieved when I received the results that it hadn't spread, it wasn't stage 4 I felt happy... That I had a fighting chance. Now I'm settling down it's now dawning on me that it isn't going to be an easy ride... Ever again. Always waiting for scans, check ups and hoping the little bastard has never come back.... Not to mention the side effects of any of the treatments I could have. I'm sure once I know the treatment I will start to freak again... But I can't go back to where I was mentally over the past two weeks. I refuse to.
Hi, did you have a hysterectomy? Since finishing your treatment how are you internally?
I was so focused and happy to be alibe for 2.5 days... But now I'm petrified of the treatment. I was nieve to think surgery then get on with life... Chemorads and then get on with normal life... How stupid!
Wendy, how are you now? How are you after treatment? Did you have a hysterectomy as well? Are you healed inside?
I didn't have surgery since the tumor was a bit too big and had grown into the parametrium. I had 6 courses of cisplatin chemo, 25 radiations, and 4 internal radio blasts ( brachy therapy).
I am very lucky, I had no bowel or bladder issues during my treatment and I didn't get sick either. My vagina is still the same, I have no internal damage. .
The only thing I have is tingling feet and a slight ringing in my ears every now and then. This is caused by the chemo , but other then that I am the same I was before treatment.
Issy, today has been a terrible day and it's only 2pm. Hardly slept last night. I'm back in the black hole. It's hitting me hard. Thank you so much for replying. I can't function and I'm a mess.
Ahw hugs. So sorry you are feeling crap, unfortunately I know how you feel, and it sucks. It will get better though. .
You also asked if it spread in 1 week, that is not the case. An MRI shows a tumor on a different way . A pet scan shows cells with a higher sugar intake ( cancer cells take up sugar faster then regular cells). They both show the same thing but on a different level.
I won't lie, today has been terrible. But thank you so much for your support. I feel I'm in a black hole and I can't get out. I'm so terrified and I'm normally a fighter. Strong. This has ko'ed me.
I am so sorry. I felt that way too when first got diagnosed and started feeling better once treatment started. It gave me some.of my power back.
When is your next appointment? I assume they will.come.up.with a treatment plan by then
I've just got to wait it out until Thursday for the panal meeting with docs, surgeons, nurses and oncologists and wait and see what they feel is right treatment wise.
Are you in the UK?
Are there any questions I should ask? I have loads but none. Maybe ones you thought after something/trement but didn't think of?
No, I'm from The Netherlands , but I found this place when I was researching my diagnoses. We don't have a forum like this in The Netherlands. You're not from the UK either?
The one thing I asked my all my doctors was if they would reccomend the chosen treatment for their wives/sisters/daughters too. I did go for a second opinion just to make sure a different hospital and team would go for the same treatment, which also helped me regain my power over the situation.
I was able to choose between a and b, which felt empowering since I felt completely out of controll in the situation.
I'm from the UK, but have been to the Netherlands many many times.
I'm waiting for the treatment plan and then see about getting a se ond opinion. Did the treatment range greatly from place to place? What were you offered?