24 hrs after LLETZ... (CIN2)

Hi All. I thought I would post my LLETZ story on to this forum, as I was doing every thing I could to read other people's posts before I had my treatment, and I really got myself in a panic. In reality, it wasn't that bad at all. As some history, I am 24.5 years old and I had my first smear in June (High grade dysk), followed by a colposcopy 2 weeks later which showed CIN2. I had a LLETZ under local 24 hours ago.

To say I was petrified would be an understatement. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety and I have been experiencing terrible worry over the last six weeks. I faint frequently and I was SO worried that I would pass out / have an anxiety attack during the LLETZ treatment. I called up the clinic in advance to warn them and they couldnt have been more understanding.

The treatment itself was honestly fine. The nurse told me that the LA contained adrenaline so I wouldn't faint, which was reassuring (even if it wasn't true?). The most uncomfortable part of the experience was the speculum, again, and the burning smell associated with the quarterizing of the wound. It is an unpleasant but necessary treatment, which is what I had to keep reminding myself. I was in and out in 15 minutes. I did feel a little queezy aferwards and was told to remain in the ward for 1 hour due to my disposure for fainting attacks with convulsions. I havent bled yet, nor have I felt any pain.

I think the worst thing about the whole experience is the fear of the unknown. Will my results come back worse than CIN2? Did they get it all? Do I have to go through this all again? Why me?! I think I will continue to panic and worry about these things until I get my results back in 4-6 weeks. The worry is by far the worst part of my experience so far.

Please feel free to message me or responsd if anyone has any questions. Jo's forums have helped provide me with so much information that I can only attempt to help other worried ladies in the same scary situation. :)

Hi Bellaboo

I'm glad the lletz treatment went okay for you, I had lletz yesterday and I think perhaps the jab I had also contained adrenaline.. as my legs and hands shook so hard during the procedure and afterwards for about 10 mins! Not sure if that was the reason why.
I agree 100% that the worst part is the not knowing! I only had my treatment yesterday and I get my results in 2 weeks but I literally feel like I cannot wait that long. I feel like I'm in total limbo. It's on my mind constantly, I can't distract myself for more than 5 minutes at a time, and I'm pretty sure that I'm terrible company to my boyfriend right now..
How are you keeping yourself busy? I have a family meal tomorrow and I just am not sure I can face it. I feel very over-sensitive and emotional at the moment.
xXx

Aug 2013 - turned 25, clear smear result
Jan 2015 - smear taken as part of routine 'full body' health check-up - results show HPV 16 high risk, and CIN 1 confirmed
Jan 2015 - colposcopy, CIN 2 confirmed, biopsy taken - results inconclusive, return in 6 months for another colposcopy
July 2015 - 6 mth repeat colposcopy - abnormal cells seen, biopsy taken, and smear
July 2015 - smear results show HPV 16 moderate changes, biopsy result inconclusive (again) - lletz carried out. 
Awaiting results, due in 2 weeks

Hi SophieB88!

Its reassuring to know that other people are going through the same worries / experiences. The more I think about it, whether the adrenaline was administered or natural, it was definately present! I was babbling on to the nurse about goodness knows what during the procedure, which carried on for about 10 minutes afterwards. I then started to feel woozy / strange in the recovery section which may have been the effects wearing off. How strange!

I completely agree with you about the "limbo" feeling. Its awful. Although I think its positive that you get your results in 2 weeks as oppossed to 4-6 weeks! Ive called my colposcopy department numerous times during this whole process and a nurse is always more than willing to have a chat with me to reassure me about the process / whats going on. Maybe try that if you are anxious inbetween? I definately feel that the emotional pain caused but this process is far worse than the physical pain - I literally haven't felt anything since my LLETZ nor have I had any bleeding.

I'm at home with family at the moment, and they have been keeping my mood up. I find I get easily distracted when I'm lying about watching TV or on the computer. My mind drifts off and I start panicing / crying / googling CC. Ive found it really useful to keep busy being slightly more active (within limits after LLETZ) doing cooking, organizing, grocery shopping. Also, today is the first day that I have properly done my hair and make up and painted my nails. I decided that if i looked better it might improve my mood! So far so good! I think you should try and go to your family meal, its a nice excuse to try and take your mind off things. But if you dont feel ready for socialising then Im sure people will understand.

One thing I'm struggling with is that I dont feel like other people understand what I'm going through. Most of my best friends seem to think its nothing and don't really understand the severity of whats happening and my too embarrassed to go into great depths about my gynae issues with work / other people. My boyfriend has been great but im sure he doesnt want to hear about my cervical issues constantly! Its not very endearing haha.

X

Hi girls,  this post has helped to put me at ease as I too suffer with anxiety and also depression at the moment.

 

 My first smear came back as abnormal about a month ago and I was referred for urgent colposcopy. 

 

The colposcopist told me that my smear indicated abnormal endocervical cells. On examination she could see CIN3 and my biopsy results came yesterday stating high grade CGIN. 

 

I am having Lletz with local next Thursday and I am extremely nervous. 

 

Did anyone have their mum/friend/boyfriend go in with them? 

 

I really want my mum there to put me at ease and so she can take in what the doctor says aswell.

 

I totally understand being emotional and sensitive and seeing that other women are going through this is reassuring. It has affected my personal life and my relationship with my boyfriend (who I live with) but I have tried to explain to him, he is starting to understand. My anxiety and depression doesn't help, originally it was anxiety but going through this has developed depression which I have also been getting help for. 

 

Xx

 

Hi girls

I've had a really bad 24 hours, have found a couple of blue dots on my 'labia' (sorry if this is too much info..) but I googled them and it is a sympton of vulva cancer, which can also be caused by HPV. So now I've worked myself up into a bit of a state, and I think I should call my gyno tomorrow and ask him about it. I wanted to call today but I was too scared of what he might say that I put it off! I guess he wouldn't be able to tell anything until he looks at them anyhow.

Poor us going through this horrible waiting time :( I only have to wait until next Friday but that still feels like FOREVER. I have private healthcare through work which I never thought much of, until all of this happened - it seems the wait for results is quicker, which is definitely good although still torture. I'm hardly sleeping and don't feel like socialising at all. I have a wedding this weekend which usually I would love, but I would rather curl up on the sofa and watch a movie. 

@Bellaboo, I'm having the opposite issue in terms of people understanding, I told one friend what's happening and she took it so drastically (in her best intentions of course, to be supportive) but it was though I told her I actually had been diagnosed with cancer, so I've not told anyone else. My boyfriend and my Mum know and are being really positive and understanding. @Bunny girl I didn't take anyone in the room with me but the nurse was holding my hand which was very sweet of her. I'm sure you can take someone in the room if you want to. 

I hope you're both okay today and I hope we all get the results we want. Fingers crossed xXx

Aug 2013 - turned 25, clear smear result
Jan 2015 - smear taken as part of routine 'full body' health check-up - results show HPV 16 high risk, and CIN 1 confirmed
Jan 2015 - colposcopy, CIN 2 confirmed, biopsy taken - results inconclusive, return in 6 months for another colposcopy
July 2015 - 6 mth repeat colposcopy - abnormal cells seen, biopsy taken, and smear
July 2015 - smear results show HPV 16 moderate changes, biopsy result inconclusive (again) - lletz carried out. 
Awaiting results, due in 2 weeks

Hi Bunny Girl. How horrid is the anxiety / depression! I literally cant breathe at times and my heart thumps out of my chest. I saw a doctor about it this week and she's arranging for me to chat to someone about it all, which I'm hoping will help. 

I went for my colposcopy on my own, which was an error. For my LLETZ by Dad came with me and sat outside the room. My mum died a few years ago and no sisters / friends free so that wasnt an option. But, I know someone whose Mum held their hand for the Colp. My only thoughts might be that because its an operation-like procedure it might have to be a sterile environment? Call your department and check? For me I think i'd have preferred having just the nurse there (who was amazing btw) cos, ya know, my bits were massive on a TV screen and I feel that would have caused me extra worry haha. Dont be too worried though, i promise you it isn't half as bad as the image you will be conjuring up in your head :)

SophieB88 - Gosh it sounds like you are having a really tough time but its great to hear you have a good support network around you. I think it is worth calling the Gynae and getting an appointment, even if it turns out to be nothing! I find those "bits" down there often look a bit strange and I would have no idea whats normal on one person and not on the next. Don't get paniced though. Its so easy in this situation to start thinking the worse about everything. 

Sending positive thoughts everyones way! x