Hi there, I am new here and really need a chat! Pretty traumatic first month of 2014 for me. Here goes… I went for my first smear test (I am 24) around 12th Jan, wasn’t as bad as I thought! Received letter through the post stating I had to go for a colposcopy as I had high grade dyskrosis (is that right), they gave me 27th Jan, which I had to make a week later as I was on my period then which I know you can’t have when you go! So I went this Tuesday (obviously expecting bad news!) with a friend. The nurse was pretty straight forward, she told me I had CIN 3 and with my permission she would perform the Lletz procedure there and then! I didn’t even know what that was or entailed! Or even that it was minor surgery!! I didn’t even have biopsies done first! I don’t really think I know what she or I said after I heard CIN3 to be honest, I was in shock! She told me people with CIN3 usually have to keep coming back and I need to think about having more children sooner rather than later to avoid complications… Weak cervix, hysterectomy etc (my mum had a hysterectomy at 30, reason unknown) The procedure was ok I suppose, I had local anaesthetic with adrenaline?? I felt one, I screamed and that’s when I let go my grief and shock and started crying! I was doing so well! I didn’t feel anything after that just shaking which I suppose was the adrenaline. She didn’t tell me how much she took away. I was inconsolable for two days. What if I have cancer? What if I have to come back and do that again? What if I can’t have more children? I don’t want to make the decision of having a sibling for my two year old daughter right now! I have never been more terrified about anything in my life! I have relatives telling me they’ve had it done and been fine etc but nothing will make me feel better until I have all clear results. I have only had a slight weeping discharge, more like an orange tinged water, with period and back pain. However I have cried that much I gave myself a temperature of 102 and a throat infection! Like I needed anything else! I know I sound completely selfish. I know my mum is terrified for me, my fiancé doesn’t understand the importance of what’s going on and I am just trying to be myself for my daughter… I am even having nightmares about the results! I just feel like I am unlucky as it was my first smear and everything always seems to be drama for me, nothing is ever straight forward or easy! Sorry for the rant, please people share your experience and feelings with this young mum who’s worrying her knickers off!!! Thanks xxx
Hello TrollyDolly24 - you're so young to have to face fears over this. I won't say 'try not to worry' because that's just pants and you will worry! Your mind goes over & over things and it's very hard not to imagine the worst. It's a really crap time, however its important to know that in a lot of cases, the colposcopy takes care of Cin3, not all cases go on to be cancer. Waiting on results can be torture, and there's nothing we can do to speed things up - we just have to sit it out. Best advice I can give it to keep yourself busy, try to occupy your mind especially in your 'free' time - read, knit, sew, walk, swim - anything!! and definately DON'T GOOGLE IT! stick to what the doctors have told you about your case only! too much info can be a bad thing sometimes.
Hope this helps? didn't want to just read your message & not reply - sending you best wishes.
Sharon (ps, don't let my history below scare you!that's me - not you!!)
Thank you so much for your reply Sharon :-) Google is the devil I know and I have tortured myself with it since I found out, people only like to share their horror stories for some reason! Haha!! It is just the possibility and the waiting for the results, just affects people in different ways. I am the worst pessimist and always have been, I wish I was a positive person! I do forget about it but then something will happen or someone will say something and I will get the turn in my tummy! As you say nothing can be done until we get the results just hope for the best xx thanks again xxx
Hello i am 24 and just had the lletz under ga for cin3 i had nitemares to nerly evry nite i had to slap myself n think y am i been so silly there ppl alot wores i feel loads better now its out ov me just waiting on my results now and trust me the wait i he hrdest part the support on here help me and also made friend aswell we met for lunch last week it was fab just to talk xxxx try not to get to upset hun xxx
I know that you were shocked on the day, but it is standard practice in some hospital trusts to do the Lletz on the same day as the Colposcopy, if they find CIN 2 or 3. When I got my letter saying I had high grade dyskariosis, it included a leaflet which said that I would most likely have both at the same time, so don't worry that you've had it done. It was unfortunate that you didn't get a leaflet too, so that you were able to mentally prepare for the day so that it might not have been so bad for you.
I was just the same as you, absolutely terrified and had tortured myself on Google until I was a nervous wreck. The waiting and the uncertainty is really horrid...and the mind plays tricks on you too. I gave myself back ache, leg ache, shoulder and neck pains and a blinding headache, all of which I believed were signs that I was seriously poorly. It was amazing how, when I got my results, I started to feel better, lol.
Keep reading the positive stuff only. There are some uber-strong, incredible women on here, who Im sure will be able to assist you if you need advice. I'm not among that group as I was a gibbering wreck, but if there is anything you think I might be able to assist you with, I'll do my best. Sending hugs x
Hi I've not been on for a while, I saw your post and I wanted to say I was you not long ago, try be as positive as you can for now. I know it's hard. Hope you're ok xxx