2 weeks to go and counting the days until end of treatment

I haven’t posted on here in a while, but I am now 4 weeks in to my treatment with two weeks left to go and I’m starting to feel like I’m hitting a wall. Which seems silly when I only have two weeks left!

I have never been a weak or depressive person but this past week has been a real tough one for me. I’ve had 4 rounds of chemo so far and 18 radio with 1 more chemo and 7 radio and 4 internal radio still to go. I had to have a blood transfusion on Tuesday as my levels had gotten too low and had my pre assessment for my overnight stays next week on Monday too which is scaring me esp for someone who has never been in hospital before!

This week has been so overwhelming and all the side effects are really taking a toll on my body now, which is hard when I see people in better spirits than me. But I know treatment affects every one differently and I shouldn’t compare myself to others. I’m really trying to be brave because before treatment started I was the most positive person and I was ready to fight this. Don’t get me wrong I’m fighting this to the end and I won’t ever give up but it just feels I need that last boost to get me through. Anyone else feel this way?

Sunflower xxx

Hi Sunflower,

Well you have a wonderfully positive name anyway! Sounds as though you are doing brilliantly. The last couple of weeks are probably the hardest as the tiredness really kicks in and I struggled a bit with sickness too. I don't know if you have far to travel as well, as this just increases the exhaustion. I think there is also that "ground hog day" feeling which can get you down. I had my treatment a year ago at the same time, so it brings it all back hearing your experience. I did lots of Xmas shopping on line to try and feel more normal, and I also got as much rest as possible. You might get some diarrhoea towards the end and a bit after the radio finishes, but there is stuff you can take for that. Each day will be different and it is really hard to keep "positive" all the time. I agree with "365 days" that you don't have to be positive 24/7 as it's not realistic. Some days you may just feel like crap both physically and mentally, but it won't last, and it does improve after treatment and quite quickly too. You are nearly there Sunflower and we are all behind you. Good luck over the next few weeks. Don't expect to be superhuman at Xmas, but there is always next year. Hopefully you have lots to look forward to in 2016

Big hugs to you.

Hey Sunflower! :-)

The treatment can be horrendously exhausting, and it's impossible to remain positive and bouncy when you are completely shattered.
Rachel is absolutely right in everything she says above :-)
No matter how tired you feel, time passes at the same speed and this will all be over in a couple more weeks.
This WILL be over in another couple of weeks :-)
Count the days down :-D

Be lucky :-)
Tivoli

Hi Sunflower500,

I am new to this site but since joining I have found so many kind, brave and kind hearted people that have helped me during some very low times.

My heart goes out to you and remember you have got so far, keep strong. You can do this, you know you can.

I do not start my treatment until another four days. I shall have 5 and half weeks of radio, chemo (cisplatin) once a week and all this followed by a 30 hour treatment of internal radiotherapy. I am so scared but know there is no alternative. It is a case of rolling our sleeves up and getting on with it. Keep thinking how far you've come already.

Keep strong - we can do this together :)

Willow xxx

Don't expect to be swinging from the lamp shade straight away!! It took me 6 weeks to be able clean my house in 2 attempts :-).

i still had some symptoms but started to get better by pushing myself each day. I've done too much now have a cold and bad hip from all the walking so take your time

Hey Sunflower!

Only a week to go now! YAY!

xxxxx
Tivoli