I hope someone can offer some comforting words. I know I don't have as much to deal with as some of you on this site, but I am new to this and only 26.
I had my 1st ever smear test back in June this year and it came back saying CIN2.
After I had my colposcopy results through, the letter stated I had CIN3 not CIN2. So had LLETZ on 30/08/2013.
I'm also currently waiting to see if I have endomitriosis and going to see a specialist on 8/10/13.
My main worries now are my low moods and how they are effecting work - and vice versa.
I started a temporary promtion job in July just before my colposcopy, so have been under constant stress from that aswell as worrying about my health.
I have been continuing with the job throughout all this waiting, had my LLETZ 3 weeks ago (2 weeks after my Nan died) and all the stress and worry just isn't getting any better.
I am still waiting for the all clear but still under lots of pressure at work and now I feel I've hit rock bottom.
My head is all over the place, I can't think straight and my boss doesn't even work in the same city as me for me to be able to speak to her properly.
I just feel overwhelmed with everything all happening at the same time. I feel sick that this is my future now, lots of intrusion and lots of waiting, worry and anxiety.
I just don't know what to do, I want to end this promotion and go back to a less pressured job but I don't even know where to begin to start explaining all this to my boss without her thinking I'm off the rails!
Oh matey,
Poor u… It doesn’t rain but pours… I’m glad u have found this site to have a rant and let things out. We all feel alone, that no one knows how we’re feeling but generally on here, people do.
The common thing seems to be on here that the longer the wait for results, the better. People who get them before 3-4 wks generally get bad news. So the longer you wait seems to be better. But having said that, everyone on here will agree that the waiting is the worst bit by FAR. Even when have bad news, at least you come out of limbo and start planning for something.
As for your job, I think once you get the results through, you will have such a huge weight off ur shoulders that u will find that u can focus much more on it and not be as stressed, so don’t do anything rash there until then.
Sending you a hug for now. Be patient, keep busy. Let us know how it goes.
Don x
I echo what Don said. Iv found such great support on here and I think only us who have gone through this can understand whatever stage we are at. I'm like you and got my results after my first smear so was a complete shock to the system. I felt very invaded and upset after my colposcopy aswel and normally internals etc dont bother me. I think once the worry of this is gone you may find work easier. What about a week or 2 on sick leave? I'm sure with her being a woman she would understand.
Lots of hugs coming your way.
Johanna
xxx
Hi, i also echo what Don and Johanna have said. The waiting drives u mad, its been 10 days since my Lletz n i’m back to worrying n waiting for results again. I’d definately think of talking to your gp about how low your feeling, maybe Johanna’s right n you could think about going on the sick for a short time while you get your head straight. Hope you get your results soon x
I feel exactly the same. I expected my smear to come back fine but it said I had low grade... I went for my colposcopy last week and waiting for the results from that. The not knowing and anxiety is way too much! Keep your chin up sweet :D xx
I think taking some sick leave might really help you, your doctor will be able to sign you off with stress if you explain how you feel. In my experience I prefer being at work because it takes my mind off things, but I have a great support network within work and I know you said your boss isn't there to talk to so it must be hard. There are helplines you can ring to talk and let off steam, Jo's Trust have one, or do you have a HR department at work that you could talk to? They could help ease some of the work pressure.
I don't think the waiting time is at all reflective of what your results will be, I think a lot of the time it depends on what hospital / city you are in / how big the department is etc. I knew from my colposcopy that I'd be waiting 6 weeks for results whether they were good or bad. I know that's probably not what you want to hear but I don't want people to convince themselves that a long wait is a good thing because it doesn't always work like that unfortunately!
As long as you know this forum is here and there's always someone to talk to here. This site has been an absolute lifeline for me these past few weeks, especially as my best friend and my sister have both been away for a couple of weeks, without this forum I would've been a quivering wreck when they get back!
xx
