Oh, I wish they'd sent me for colposcopy! The nurse who used to do the smears at my surgery has retired, so I got a new person today. She first of all said I had lots of 'gloopy stuff' covering my cervix, which she said was normal in young women. Then she said my cervix was high up. She changed speculums, still coudn't see cervix, had a rummage around with the brush and made me bleed (and then said, 'ooh, I seem to have made you bleed really easily' - NOT HELPFUL!!). Then she decided to put the stirrups on the bed, used a larger speculum, still couldn't see cervix, which apparently is small, far back and tipped... they did comment on this at the colp clinic but I used to be able to have smears ok in the surgery (maybe my cervix has retreated further in response to the horrible things that keep happening to it?). She also commented that I have 'floppy' vaginal walls ('at least ten years older than you,' she said - umm, what does this mean? Is it a sign of some impending medical crisis? Or a mispent youth?). She tried one more time with the brush, again I bled, and she said 'look, I'm not confident I've got the cells, and seeing as this smear is REALLY IMPORTANT, I want you to see the GP.'
Which I can't do until 4pm.
So now I've cancelled everything else I was planning today and I'm huddled on the sofa in the fetal position eating a lot of crisps.
Keep thinking back to the start of the appointment when I told her, 'I just had LLETZ, I'm really nervous.' I'm sure she was trying her best and probably felt flustered that she couldn't get it right, but so much of what she said was (hopefully needlessly) alarming. Wish I'd gone straight to the doc or the colp clinic...