I know this is something that has probably been covered in countless other threads from lots of other women.. but you know whe you keep telling yourself it'll be ok, and to calm down? But it never works? Thats where I'm at.. Apologies for the long winded post..
I'm 29 years old, and had my first (yes, I know..) smear test a couple of weeks ago. My results came back as abnormal and I have mild dyskaryosis and evidence of HPV infection. Straight away, my head screams, "WHAAAT?! AN STD?!" and I feel dirty, ashamed and scared. I was half expecting abnormal cells, as a worst case scenario, but to be told in black and white I have an STD was a different story.
I've read that HPV can give you warts, which I don't have. Neither does my partner. So I clearly have another strain of it. I've been ill with tonsilities/inflamed tonsils/colds on and off since December. So now I'm worried I have HPV of the throat. I'm worried about how long I've had it for, what its been doing to me since I've had it.. even though I've had no other symptoms apart from being ill on and off since Christmas.
So the next step, is a colposcopy. Which I'm having to wait around a month for, and after reading other threads, this isn't too bad a wait.
Now, all the things I wasn't worried about before, I'm terrified about. My constant sore throat, the certain "bit" that hurts a little when I have intercourse, and the fact I have whats classed as an STD.
I've had a cry, and my family have been really supportive, as has my boyfriend, and I keep telling myself its going to be fine, and theres no point in worrying about something you know nothing about, but thats whats scaring me.
I'm clearly terrified of what the colposcopy is going to find..
I don't even really know what I'm looking for in terms of answers or reassurance.. and I'm sure a million of us have all been through the same thing.. but bloody hell... scared much!?
I think I need a dry slap and to be told to get a grip!