Hi, I'm new on this site. I'm hoping someone can give me good news. I cried myself to sleep last night.
I was abused as a child so I hate anything regarding down below and Dr's. So I was traumatized when I had to try IVF for a family - probably why it never worked.
Everytime I am due a Pap Smear I hold off and have to physc myself up to go. This time it took me 16 months past my due date.
The Dr I had was a trainee who really hurt me. She tried 4 times including changing the size of the speculum thing to the large one, no lubricant as she said can't have incase effects results. After the 4th attempt she said I could come back another day and take two paracetamol beforehand. I think she could tell by my face I wouldn't go back so she offered to get another Dr. I reluctantly said ok as long as it's female.
Other GP was lovely, asked the trainee GP how many times she tried and to my horror she said 2! I couldn't speak as I my feelings were all over the place. It had taken me so long to get there that day and because she hurt me I was thinking I'll never do it again but then I know I have to.
Anyway, the other GP, on the belief the trainee tried twice said ok she would give it a go. She closed the curtain over the door to protect my privacy ( trainee didn't), asked for the small speculum, used lubricant, did a quick internal check to locate my cervix, found it really easy and carried out the smear. I left there that day traumatized and thought well at least it's done.
Then a few days later i receive a call from the male receptionist (embarrassing) to say I had thrush and Dr had made out a prescription. Never been diagnosed with thrush before.
Things yesterday got a whole lot worse in my saga. Just back from holiday to open a letter telling me my results were borderline so lab carried out HPV test. You can guess what's next - so I have been diagnosed with an HPV infection and a hospital will contact me with appointment for a Colposcopy!
I cried myself to sleep last night. I know this is the start now of more frequent pap smears, but also first year for a Colposcopy. Also I'm now thinking I shouldn't have gone so late for my smear. Even worse, I am thinking about symptoms I have had and said nothing - pain on penetration each time my husband and I have sex. Which is not very often so I put it down to the fact it is because I'm not having frequent sex. It hurts only for the first instant then is ok ( most of the time). Itching - I put down to thrush and self medicated with eurax to stop itch as always too embarrassed to go to Dr ( except in this occasion they pick it up in pap for first time ever), bottom of my legs are having sock marks indents left which I put down to some weight gain but now I'm thinking it's oedema, another sign of cervical cancer.
So upset, angry at myself and terrified that I have cancer and it may sound silly but for me cervical cancer is the worst for someone with my past. So much poking and prodding to come. I can't take this. Starting to cry again just typing this.
Please can anyone tell me of a similar story - borderline and HPV and everything was ok at Colposcopy?